What To Do If You’re A Virgin In Your 20’s

Every once in a while, someone posts a comment that goes something like this:

“I’m in my early to mid 20s and am still a virgin. I don’t know what to do.”

No one here will judge you for that, unless of course you are unwilling to make a change and improve yourself. But the desire to want to change and improve yourself has to come from within you.

Now, how can a virgin learn game? Even if such a young man was able to use game techniques in order to successfully get a woman and bring her back to his apartment, he would probably be clueless what to do next. We all remember the first time we had sex and if we are honest with ourselves, we remember how completely clueless we were about it. I myself was so nervous that I had to use viagra in order to maintain an erection. So if even game cannot help a virgin get laid, what is the solution?

One very realistic solution is that if you are a virgin and in your 20s is to find a sympathetic prostitute and let her know you are a virgin and that you basically want her to pop your cherry. The first time is the hardest and once you overcome that initial hurdle, it gets a lot easier after that. I would normally never encourage the use of prostitutes, but it may be a necessary evil for a lot of young men. In some cultures worldwide, it is almost an unspoken ritual that when a man reaches his 18th birthday, if he is still a virgin, his male friends will take him out and set him up with a prostitute and thus initiate him into adulthood.

Prostitution is something that should be treated as an emergency method. It is not satisfying for long term use because there is really nothing to be gained from it. Zero effort is required and so there is no motivation to improve yourself. Basically, just consider prostitution as “sex education” that you needed to learn in the early stages of your personal development.

Here is a strategy for men in their 20s who are still virgins and perhaps a bit shy or nervous around women:

Short term: Have sex with a sympathetic prostitute and overcome the initial fear of sex

Mid term: Depending on your level of comfort, start learning and practicing game. If you are having troubles learning game, consider taking a sex vacation to Bangkok, Thailand, and having sex with at least 10 women there. They may either be prostitutes or normal women you meet, it is up to you.

Long term: At this point, if you’ve fucked at least 10 women, you don’t really have any excuse to be nervous about learning game and picking up women anymore. At this stage, stop all use of prostitutes and focus on practicing and picking up women.

One of the great things about making self-improvement one of the main focuses of your life is that it gets easier as time goes along, until it becomes natural. You’ll notice yourself becoming more absorbed in a positive mind frame and less in a negative one. One of the most frightening things about being absorbed in a negative mindset, or even worse, being stuck in a depression, is that in many cases you do not even realize that you are in such a state of mind.

This is also why it is very vital to keep good associations. You take on the qualities of the people that you associate with. If you are associating with guys who live in their parent’s basement and play World of Warcraft all day, you’ll probably become like them. On the other hand, if you associate with positive male role models, you will gradually take on their qualities.

One of the worst things about modern America is that feminism has almost totally destroyed any real positive male role models for younger men to have. Finding a group of positive male role models cannot be overestimated. The good news is, is that if you are reading Return of Kings, you’ve already found a group of positive male role models.

Having positive male role models is probably the most vital part of improving one’s self. Even in certain eastern religious traditions, an important teaching for those who want to make spiritual progress is to associate with spiritually advanced people. In a more mundane or material sense, the same holds true. Associate with men who are more advanced than you in personal development, game, or life experience, and do so in a humble down to earth mood. If you have a challenging or arrogant mood, you will never be able to learn anything.


If you’re a nervous virgin in your 20s, there is no need to get upset or depressed about that. Some men develop a bit more slowly and may not have lost their virginity at age 14. In fact, the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said the following:

The nobler and more perfect a thing is, the later and slower is it in reaching maturity. Man reaches the maturity of his reasoning and mental faculties scarcely before he is eight-and-twenty;

Just consider following the above strategies and make the serious commitment to self-improvement. Give up bad association and find some good male role models who you can learn from. If you stay committed to the path and work on your game, you’ll start having experiences that you did not even think was possible.